Posted on: 2024-07-30
I feel like everything is slipping from my control.
The menace of a silent, rising tide is approaching. You can feel it: something terrible is about to happen. The clamor of others' piercing voices calls out to me, their eyes ever condescending, with the callousness of a contracted killer. I'm adrift on a ship with no captain, sailing into the unknown.
In recent years, I've felt my grip on life gradually slipping away. In my downward spiral, I've become so preoccupied with the wavering opinions of others that I'm unable to act or function. I've become more reclusive than ever before, and it scares me. I'm afraid of where my life is headed; my parents have lost hope in me, or at the very least, their expectations have dramatically dropped. Meanwhile, my relationship with myself has been deteriorating, affecting my connections with others as well.
I want to change more than anything. I crave a transformation that will pull me out of this darkness. I yearn to regain control over my life, to find a sense of purpose, and to rebuild my self-worth. I want to mend my relationships and prove to myself, and to others, that I am capable of growth and resilience. More than anything, I want to change and become a person I can be proud of.
P.S: I've never been into documenting myself or my thoughts, but I'm willing to give it a chance, or at the very least, give the idea a shot and see where it goes.